Now, just because I haven't run for a week and a half doesn't mean that I've been completely inert. My back still hurts, but it's getting better daily, and I think I should be out on the road again in a few days. In the meantime, for the injured, there are other things we can do: stretches, yoga, meditation. Most importantly, I think would be continuing to eat well.
Me, I'm not doing any of that stuff. I see the value in it. If I had a pulpit, I would preach it. I find myself, rather, wallowing around feeling stupid, as well as bad for myself. Also, I'm overeating. I had two ice cream sandwiches the other night, and for breakfast this morning, I ate the four Hershey-kisses sugar cookies my daughter was saving from Valentine's Day.
I have been walking to work when possible, so that's good, and I still always take the stairs (luckily the elevator in my building is broken, but I also take the stairs because elevators seem so unnatural). I certainly, meanwhile, could be doing calf raises each day or maybe some light upper-body workouts. But suddenly, when I'm not running, I've been acting as though I hardly have time to blink, let alone add workouts.
Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so. Just a bad runner. I mean, I probably shouldn't have eaten my daughter's cookies because she might want them when she wakes up, but the extra calories and utter lack of protein do not speak to my humanity. I think it's too easy to conflate what we do with what kind of person we are, and I find that about myself. In fact, I've been feeling all kinds of negative feelings about myself lately, thinking I'm hardly worthy of all this really fantastic carbon I've been blessed with, and that's been bringing me down in general. It's a self-perpetuating downward spiral, and I wasn't even thinking about my life as such until this moment in the blog. In fact, I wasn't even thinking about writing a post this morning, but now, I'm glad I did. I'm going to make a salad for lunch. I was saving the cupcake that my daughter thought she was saving for herself, but I'll eat my salad instead.
Truth be told, and this is no big surprise to anybody who had been following my blog from before. It's clearly my own fault that I got injured. I was adding unnecessary challenges to my daily workouts, increasing the intensity and distance of my maintenance runs, while I bulked up on everything else as well. It was stupid. I know that. I thank everybody who didn't point that out to me, that it was my own fault. The stupidity of it is also part of the reason I've been feeling like a dweeb lately. But again (and I know this, we all know this), what the stupidity amounted to was poor training in theory and practice. The stupidity does not speak to my self worth as a human being.
* * *
Not posting an 11-Day Tally -- no reason to make myself feel worse.
Me, I'm not doing any of that stuff. I see the value in it. If I had a pulpit, I would preach it. I find myself, rather, wallowing around feeling stupid, as well as bad for myself. Also, I'm overeating. I had two ice cream sandwiches the other night, and for breakfast this morning, I ate the four Hershey-kisses sugar cookies my daughter was saving from Valentine's Day.
I have been walking to work when possible, so that's good, and I still always take the stairs (luckily the elevator in my building is broken, but I also take the stairs because elevators seem so unnatural). I certainly, meanwhile, could be doing calf raises each day or maybe some light upper-body workouts. But suddenly, when I'm not running, I've been acting as though I hardly have time to blink, let alone add workouts.
Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so. Just a bad runner. I mean, I probably shouldn't have eaten my daughter's cookies because she might want them when she wakes up, but the extra calories and utter lack of protein do not speak to my humanity. I think it's too easy to conflate what we do with what kind of person we are, and I find that about myself. In fact, I've been feeling all kinds of negative feelings about myself lately, thinking I'm hardly worthy of all this really fantastic carbon I've been blessed with, and that's been bringing me down in general. It's a self-perpetuating downward spiral, and I wasn't even thinking about my life as such until this moment in the blog. In fact, I wasn't even thinking about writing a post this morning, but now, I'm glad I did. I'm going to make a salad for lunch. I was saving the cupcake that my daughter thought she was saving for herself, but I'll eat my salad instead.
Truth be told, and this is no big surprise to anybody who had been following my blog from before. It's clearly my own fault that I got injured. I was adding unnecessary challenges to my daily workouts, increasing the intensity and distance of my maintenance runs, while I bulked up on everything else as well. It was stupid. I know that. I thank everybody who didn't point that out to me, that it was my own fault. The stupidity of it is also part of the reason I've been feeling like a dweeb lately. But again (and I know this, we all know this), what the stupidity amounted to was poor training in theory and practice. The stupidity does not speak to my self worth as a human being.
* * *
Not posting an 11-Day Tally -- no reason to make myself feel worse.
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